Do The Work

With the world being the way it is lately, it’s hard to know what to say. As a person that’s usually really quick to speak, I find myself speechless more often than not these days.

I’ve been reflecting on:

  • How can I effectively speak about what’s going on in the world in a way that’s impactful?
  • How can I engage in a conversation in a thorough way so that everyone is heard and respected?
  • How can I listen best, being mindful of the pain and plight of others, the fear in their hearts, and the rampant injustice?
  • How can I add something valuable to the world?

Here’s what I’ve come up with over and over, with every new round of self-inquiry:  Listening.

Even though this is the right answer for me, I began to beat myself up for it (unkindness). I saw the memes and the outcry of others saying that if I am a friend to all, I am a friend to none. I saw the statements that said that if I don’t vocally speak up for my marginalized brothers and sisters, I’m part of the problem.  I saw all of it, and I still powerfully choose to listen. This choice was not arrived at lightly. I spent a great deal of time reflecting on what’s going on in the world, how others are feeling, and what I can really add.

What I can add is getting the hell off the stage and letting others tell their stories. In addition to that, I am having the (sometimes heated) private arguments. I am listening with empathy and love. I am offering a shoulder when someone needs to cry and feel valued. I am practicing what I preach, and what I preach is love.

Now listen… this is important. I caught myself in the cycle of unkindness, where I was condemning myself for not saying enough, doing enough, being enough. And I stopped that madness. The fact is, what I am is enough. What you are is enough. My choice is a gift to others, and not everyone is going to like it. And that’s ok. Your choices may not fully resonate with others, and that’s ok too. You still get to choose your own path, and let it be right for you. And you get to love yourself within your choice.

I’m writing this to remind you, and remind me, that the choice you’re making about how to navigate this incredibly strange world is ENOUGH. There is no handbook for this, and if you’re choosing love, you’re choosing well.

Much of what is so upsetting about right now can be distilled down to this: others telling others how to be, how to feel, how to behave, and how to think. It’s people telling other people where they belong and don’t belong. How they need to do one thing, or not do another.

*I* am telling you one simple thing. Choose love. Love for others, love for yourself. Love for yourself gives you the power you need to survive (and thrive) through an increasingly bat-shit crazy time. It gives you empathy for others in their struggle. It gives you the humility and grace to shut the hell up and listen to someone else, and perhaps even change your mind and grow as a person.

It’s all in the book, my kind friend.  Habit #1. Kindness. Kindness = Love in action.

If you haven’t read my book, please get it FREE and read it. Apply it. You deserve so much better than suffering, than anxiety, than feeling “less than.”

If you have read it, and you haven’t started to do the work, I want to invite you to do the work NOW.  Ghandi said “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” I love this quote so much.  I want to tattoo it on my arm. This quote means you need to do the work.

I want to help you because I want to help the world, one person at a time. The book will help, the 90 Day Habit Mastery program will help much more. When you get the 90 Day program here. Plus, you can use discount code BETHECHANGE to get the workbook that goes with the 90 Day for 50% off.

I can’t fix the problems of the world in one big gesture. I would if I could… believe me. But I can help to change generations of pain by helping to heal THIS generation so the next generation is better. It starts with me, it starts with US.

My heart has been heavy lately, honestly. I hate seeing so much discord, fear, and trauma unfolding. My habits have kept me sane, and have kept me focused on the real reason why I do what I do: to empower the world, one person at a time, to create a better world for all of us, and our children.

That’s enough for now. I’ve got a Top 5 list to crush.

Love and Aloha,


Do The Work